Empty Nest Wanted

Dear Not,
Ashley?s not your friend; you?re her foil. Of course she was deeply involved when you suffered your grievous loss?other people?s pain appears to be a balm to her. It seems you have become her walking evil eye; as long as you suffer, the fates leave her unscathed. I understand that the last thing you need is a confrontation with her, but you must stop being subjected to her malign and twisted comments. I don?t have much hope for this friendship. People like Ashley tend to be low on self-insight and high on self-justification. The next time she tells you how blessed she is and how benighted you are, you should say something like, ?What a hurtful thing to say, and I can?t imagine why you would say it. Especially since I lost my baby, you?ve made many such observations, and I don?t want to hear anymore.? If she apologizes, she?s on probation. If she responds with umbrage and self-pity (my prediction) no matter how small your town, you need to put distance between the two of you. She may badger you to continue the friendship, but tell her you two need a break. It may seem like one more wrenching thing in your life to lose a friend, but removing Ashley will likely help your recovery. When you?re up for it, explore book clubs, yoga classes, or other ways to find like-minded people. Please consider contacting Share, a pregnancy and infant loss support organization. Through their online or in-person groups, you will find nonjudgmental people who truly understand what you?re going through.

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=2f7b46703164cda425f0510973d413ca

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